I have never actually read any of the books that begin with the title I selected for this editorial, but I think I know what they were all about.
Okay, maybe I don’t. Still, the thought comes to mind upon reading one of the responses I received recently that there is one aspect of your required “job search attitude” that I should address.
Our mutual purpose in trying to explain how the world works is directed toward lessening the stress you feel when you are engaged in a search. It is easy to feel alone. It is easy to feel that no one cares about you. And, it is easy to feel that everyone else is getting called back, but you aren’t.
None of this is true of course. Those who treat you poorly treat just about everyone else the same way. Don’t feel singled out.
However, if you are to survive this process with your sense of humor and sense of self in good order, you might want to consider adopting a more appropriate job search attitude.
Very briefly, set your expectations as low as possible with regard to others being considerate of your feelings. Many of those with who you will be in touch have never “walked a mile in your moccasins” and they haven’t a clue what job search in mid-life is all about. With that in mind, you actually have to feel a little sorry for them. Perhaps we could conduct a little sensitivity training for them. (A new service from The FENG.)
Many folks feel that they can instill appropriate values in the entire world. Okay, sure, I am trying to at least do this within our circle of friends, but I have a leg up in that many of you already know each other. Our bond of friendship is where all of this begins. And hopefully each of you is working hard to increase your personal circle of friends and to be a friend within our august body.
For the rest of the world, relax and set your expectations low. If someone does actually get back to you, if someone does actually treat you with the great respect that I believe we all deserve, if someone goes out of their way when there is no obvious benefit to them, TAKE THE TIME TO REJOICE.
As one of my friends used to say all the time “Happiness is a choice.” Each day you can let the world get you down, or decide that this is the nicest thunderstorm you have ever been in and besides, that suit needed to go to the cleaners anyway. (I’m sure your shoes will dry.)