I often receive messages in which members comment about how job search puts you on an emotional roller coaster and I thought I would address this issue in tonight’s editorial.
I am not a professional psychologist, but having been out of work myself for two very long years back in 1991 and 1992 — I’ve been there.
I think the first thing you need to accept if you are active in your search is that your daily routine has been interrupted. Where you go every day, how you plan your day and what you do every day is VERY different than it was in the most recent piece of time.
Add to this the fact that suddenly everyone is treating you differently. Instead of supplicants entering your office asking for checks to be signed, suddenly you are entering the offices of others asking for favors. (And, sometimes these folks are younger than your children are.) Friends who you may have known for years are suddenly not returning your phone calls. (My own personal theory on this is that for the most part they don’t know what to say and are afraid of saying the wrong thing. I call it the death in the family syndrome, or the cancer thing.)
And it gets worse. You only need one job. That means that each transaction in which you are engaged has an all or nothing result. You either got the job or you didn’t. You either got the interview or you didn’t. You didn’t just make a little less money on some transaction.
With an average age of let’s say 48 in The FENG, we have other issues we are dealing with as well. We have in many cases “normal” teenagers, kids in college, aging parents, or perhaps even spouses with health problems.
Any one of these or several of these issues may be weighing in on us at one time or another during our efforts to secure a source of income. (This is sometimes referred to as finding a job.)
It is in our nature as financial folks to always be on an even keel. (That’s a sailing term and as you know I am an avid sailor. Us sailors sure have added a lot of color to the language, haven’t we?) Anyway, we take great pride in our ability to remain unflappable. This is Matt calm, this is Matt cranked up. See, no apparent difference.
What I hope you will all accept is that these highs and lows you are experiencing are TOTALLY NORMAL.
Yes, I know it is a disappointment to know that you are normal, or perhaps even worse — HUMAN, but since you are, you are going to experience highs and lows. Hey, the whole world is depending on you. There is bound to be a lot of pressure in that idea.
So, as you go through the process of finding another job, or as I like to call it, another “work opportunity” and you feel the roller coaster going up the long hill and then suddenly down the other side, relax and enjoy the ride, but HANG ON TIGHT.
You may be normal, but you can always be safe in the knowledge that you are also SPECIAL to those who love you. (And that includes your many friends in The FENG, including those you haven’t met or talked to yet.)