I don’t know if any of you remember the movie Rain Man with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise, but Raymond had a method for dealing with his pain. He kept a journal. Anytime someone hurt him, he wrote it down in his book.
I don’t remember if he ever referred to his book or reread it for entertainment, but the lesson is perhaps an easy one. If you write down what is bothering you on a piece of paper and throw it away, is it possible the pain will be gone?
Let’s face the fact that there are only so many days in a year and so many hours in a day. If you count up the number of actual productive hours in any day or year, they actually are in frighteningly short supply. Does it really pay to waste any of that precious time on things that have happened to you in the past?
Sure, it helps to know who or what to avoid, like restaurants with poor service and worse food, but I am referring here to personal interactions you may have had with other people. Is there really any value to you and your FUTURE in remembering or hanging onto the pain?
Let’s start with the obvious situation of having been terminated from a job. Like the auto repair shop with the sign that reads: We meet by accident, most members of The FENG have joined because they lost their job at some point. Hopefully everyone stays because of the friendships they have made being a part of our august body. But, for the most part you got here in the same way everyone else did. You lost your job and in the process of networking someone took a few minutes out of their day to help you, and deciding that you were a person of great promise, invited you to join our little circle of friends.
Ah, the joy of friendship. This IS something to focus on and perhaps dwell upon. Unlike those painful moments that have happened in your PAST, friendship is a future idea. And, one that, like exercise, creates positive energy flowing through that mind of yours.
If you think happy thoughts, you tend to have happier days. Happier days are generally more productive than days spend fuming over slights that have occurred in the PAST. (Notice how I am emphasizing the issue of the PAST, which is by definition, composed of things you can’t change.)
One of the issues we discuss from time to time is the mentioning of “why you left your last job” as part of your 90-second announcement or when asked this question in an interview. Not only is the answer supposed to be short, but factual and accurate, it should also occupy as little of your gray matter as possible.
The more energy you use rolling unnecessary thoughts in your brain, the less time you have for that which is important. They say, forgive and forget. I think THEY are right this time.
By the way, what was that problem anyway?