The care and feeding of those who help

Published on Sep 24, 2024 by Matt Bud, The FENG
Human Interactions

After “I love you,” “thank you” is probably the next thing no one hears enough.

The subject I am going to discuss tonight could also be called common courtesy, or common courtesies. I know that everyone who is active in their search is very busy, but so are those who are sharing their valuable business connections.

If you haven’t fully noticed, I never miss an opportunity to thank those who provide editorial material AND I always encourage those members who are in the mood to “pile on” by adding their own thanks and comments for someone taking the time to share a big idea with us. It takes time to write, and your thank you notes encourage them to write even more. (In much the same way, I draw some of my energy each day from those who react to my crazy ideas.)

I learned a long time ago that any behavior you react to causes more of the same behavior. The original thought was to ignore all inappropriate behavior and reward all appropriate behavior.

I know that some of the thinking behind why others don’t get back to you is that they don’t want to bother you again. In a sense it is thoughtlessness on their part, but in a silly sort of way. You have already done them one favor and they don’t want to be seen as begging for more.

Of course, what they are missing is the simple fact that we live in a dynamic world. The “greater good” demands that if we are to continue to be the world’s best networking group, those who provide networking connections need to be rewarded for their behavior. And, since no amount of money would be sufficient and “I love you” would be perhaps inappropriate, thank you will have to do.

Yes, do keep your thank you notes short. (Oh how I hate those who tend to blather on.) But write something. Report back to those who have tried to help.

Then, of course, there is “The FENG’s law of networking.” (Now I have your curiosity up.) Like all good laws it is subject to repeal, but briefly, just after I hung up the phone or you left my office I thought of 3 more folks or 3 more ideas to share with you. I was about to call or write, but my email went BEEP, a text message came in or my phone rang and I forgot. If you call to report back, and my “old timers” isn’t acting up that day, I will immediately share with you all these incredible ADDITIONAL items.

But then you knew that being good was its own reward, didn’t you?

Regards, Matt