Home is where the heart is

Published on Mar 20, 2023 by Matt Bud, The FENG
Being Out of Work

As many of you know, in 1991 and 1992, I was unemployed. (Yes, two long years!)

Hard to say exactly why it took so long to find another job, but suffice to say that it was a recession and after 9 years in the Advertising business (which was in the dumper) and no recent experience in Publishing (my other background which was also in the dumper), there weren’t a lot of job possibilities.

One of the things I took off the table immediately was moving. Sure, I was born in Chicago and had lived in Northern Indiana when I was growing up, but for nearly 25 years I had been living in Norwalk, Connecticut.

It is arguable if moving would have shortened my search. And, even though I had no intention of moving, I never voiced this opinion to anyone in the search business. As far as they knew, I was open to the possibility. If fact, one opportunity did arise in Tampa, and my reaction was – when?

(Hey, I’m a sailor and it looked like the season down there would be longer. And, I looked at houses where I could have had the boat in the back yard. But, I digress.)

As it turned out, I wasn’t offered that job. In addition, I found out shortly thereafter that this privately held company was sold to a larger firm in Atlanta (after swearing that it wasn’t for sale during my interviewing). As we all have seen, so much for job security and job longevity.

Not only do I have a sailboat that I enjoy on Long Island Sound, more importantly my wife’s parents lived nearby. Up until 11 years ago, they were both still very much alive and very much a part of my life. I just couldn’t see moving away and having them miss our children growing into adults nor could I see me missing the opportunity of being able to take care of them in their declining years.

I have to tell you that in the past 28 years I haven’t heard too many happy ending stories about folks who have moved. The world is a place these days where most of us are only penciled in.

The choice of moving or not moving is a very personal one and I would never suggest that anyone base his/her decision on my priorities. All I can tell you is that life is a balance and you need to consider for yourself if your personal relationships with your circle of friends where you live now (and your family’s as well) is offset by the need to find gainful employment. It is a tough choice as are most in life.

If you choose not to move, you just need to accept that it MAY limit your choices and options. The key is to make a firm decision early and stick with it.

I took two jobs in the 1990’s that paid less than I had previously earned, but it kept my life in balance and it didn’t harm me financially as much as I thought it would at the time. If you make a decision not to move, you need to accept that you MAY need to be more flexible in your financial requirements.

Life has a way of working itself out. You just have to accept the decisions you make and commit to not second guessing yourself. I know, easy to say, but often hard to live with.

Regards, Matt