It is not uncommon that people who are unhappy like to share their troubles with others. It is part of the very normal human condition.

However, I would suggest to you that when it comes to networking with either your fellow members or others who are in your inner circle of friends, that you avoid going down any paths that even hint of negativity. Debbie Downer never got any good networking referrals.

When speaking with your fellow members who are also active in their searches, there are times when you can share stories about your search, safe in the knowledge that only someone who is experiencing the highs and lows of job search will understand your story. The key is to know the right audience, the right time to share them, and the need to add a touch of humor. As they say, anything that doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

It is intended that meetings of The FENG be positive. This includes meetings of our Job Clubs. They are situations where you have an opportunity to share your background, experiences and objectives with a friendly audience. Everyone wants to help a winner. Make every effort to sound like one.

Over the course of my career, I have had the great pleasure of working at companies with large field sales organizations. If you happen to have a negative conversation with a customer at the beginning of your day, it is referred to as a “bad seed.” Negativity has a way of “ruining your whole day.”

Negative people are to be avoided at all costs. They bring you down and it can take every bit of your energy to recover. If people are not returning your phone calls or responding to your emails, give some considerable thought to the tone of your messages. Are you sharing your frustration? Or, are you putting a positive spin on what is happening in your life?

I know it can be off putting to be interviewed by someone younger than one of your children, but it happens when you get older. As they say, you have to go with the flow. It actually isn’t the worst thing in the world.

If you want to moan and groan about the state of your world, I strongly suggest you get it out of your system before you meet or speak with any of your fellow members or any members of your inner circle of friends.

You may somehow feel better sharing your ill feelings, but please know that doing so affects the likelihood of someone taking your phone call the next time.

Everyone has bad days. Everyone has a need to share the painful things happening in their lives with someone who will take the time to listen.

Just make sure you pick the right person. Networking contacts are hard to come by.

Regards, Matt